The sun was high that day, the wind barren, vultures circled around me at a distance, and my feet were out cold and paralyzed from walking without food for four days. I was able to find water every now and then, mostly in the form of puddles and sometimes I sliced up the cactuses. At one point I found some coconut trees and spent the rest of the day getting them open to fill my bottle and bag with water and milk. The pieces I made by throwing it against rocks and shoving them into my backpack. I had lost my way long ago and my compass didn't work. I was walking in hopes of finding an oasis but with each moment my mouth became more dry, my tongue pricked my cheeks, and my lips were cut from the dryness all around. It was near afternoon, when the sun was going behind the clouds on the horizon, a large red ball growing smaller and fading against the creeping up darkness, the clouds seemed as smoke from an incinerator and large mountains spread before me guarding the Sun between them. There was a path, the walls of which were adorned with caricatures, dolls, masks, and scribbles. I kept walking hoping to find some existence beyond those cliffs. With each instance, the darkness behind me grew and numerous torches began to light up on their own. From the distance I could see bright pink-blue light, red and green diffusely spread and white beams moving across the night sky. Soon I could hear the roar of a drum, the cries of a crowd, the laughter and merriment in the air reached to me, and birds the size of eagles and drones, feathers bright, ranging from pink to orange and red to green, swarmed the horizon and gave birth to the surrounding dead area. Smoke began to penetrate out of the cracks in the mountains and everything seemed to be like a dream.
When I reached the end of the path following the lead of the birds I happened to see a carnival, the likes of which don't exist anywhere on this land but exist within all of us. There was a speaker inviting everyone around to The Human Circus. Birds, animals, djins, devils and humans alike everyone stormed the ticket house. Money was thrown in the air and those strange birds picked them by pecking and piercing through those notes, the thrower evaporating and being sent to the inside of the large tent. The tent was red all around with a canopy featuring stripes of red and white. A pink flag hung at the top on which was written; 'The Human Circus: Here Lies The Darkest and Truest Nature of Humans'
I kept walking and stood in the human queue. I asked the guy in front of me if he had any water but he didn't respond, then I asked a dog and it only barked at me and show me it's sharp teeth, then I walked to a guard, a demon with two horns, a dark brown beard, a pointed nose and large, frightening eyes like that of a wolf. I asked if there was any food and water and it only nodded and then brought its hand and chicken and water spawned on his hand in an instant. I fell upon the chicken and tore it open, I separated the neck and plucked out the feathers, I grabbed my pocket knife and dismembered it and then pulled out a piece of wood from which the tent was put in place and started a fire to make myself something to eat.
After I was done the same demon walked up to me and asked,“Where I was from.”
I replied,“I am from a distant land where only humans rule, a place so developed that buildings reach the sky, planes span across the sky, satellites surround the globe, imaginary lines separate the land, humans go about their lives dressed up and walking like logs and moving as if their limbs only supported two movements.”
The demon asked,“If I was there to see the circus.”
“I was lost while I was on my travels and I happened to reach this place. I couldn't make sense of the world out there so I left.”
The demon replied, “Then you should see the circus, it would be helpful.” The demon took a piece out of the cooked chicken and passed me a note, all brown and black, crispy and containing the picture of the circus.
After my meal I followed the demon to the entrance and the crowd was no more there. I threw the note in the air and a bird came and pierced through it with its beak. Everything went dark and then my eyes were closed from the sudden flood of bright yellow lights. I was standing in the ring and the demon beside me. The demon signaled me to follow him and the two of us went on a tour of the place.
There was a woman sitting with her legs folded beneath her in a cage the door of which was open. The peculiar thing was that she was crying and wailing, when called out or asked about her problem she only wept and beat herself up, plucking her hairs and striking at the bars.
“Why does she cry and why does she not go out?” I asked the demon. The demon replied, “Because she believes that it is her fate to be miserable and to suffer at her own hands, she is too afraid to stand up and go beyond that door because of the audience. She loves the cage and also hates it, this is the only thing she has ever known and she is too cowardly to know anything else.”
Then we came across a man, a large man with strong muscles and a big head, his legs sturdy and able to mangle a horse, but it just stood still at his place, now and then he picked up a boulder, threw it upward and then smashed it and then stood still again.
“What's this?” I asked the demon. The demon replied, “He's a man with a body but without a brain. He uses his strength to earn but never for people, to protect someone else, to use that power for the benefit of another.”
Then we walked a few paces more and stood before a large pit. The pit was swarming with people who were stripped naked and running upon each other, trying to climb the wall to get out while only a few people all dressed up in caps and uniforms holding muskets, rifles and shotguns use them for practice. Now and then a man or woman would be able to reach the top but the next second their head would be blown up by one of the officers on the other side. As soon as they ran out of weapons another man on the side would throw new ones to the officers and then sip a glass of wine and laugh at the spectacle. I didn't demand any explanation. I knew all too well who they were and what they were doing, the demon smirked at me and the two of us went past them.
Then we came across a ring of fire inside which there were 10-15 people all wearing strange clothes, with wigs on their heads, a makeup mustache attached to a funny large nose was present on their faces and they all juggled, some danced and performed silly arts, the cheering of the crowd made them act more strongly and passionately but they didn't seem to notice their own exhaustion and predicament; the fire was getting close by each breath and the were also gasping for the air but they kept on performing the fire closing in on them, smoke clouding their act and filling their lungs until finally some collapsed while the others got burnt while keeping up their act.
“Are they the ones who are always going about thinking of others and wasting themselves?” I asked.
“Yes they are. They are the most hideous and pitiable of creations who go about their lives, making others god and giving their lives for such a meager reward as the laugh and smile of others.”
“Yeah they are truly miserable and lost.”
Then we came across an enclosure that was barren and stripped of plants and water. There were men, women and children running around, crawling, gasping, some crying and others too dehydrated to even shed a tear, still there were others taking their last breaths, there were skeletons spread across the land and some people ate their own dead ones to calm their hunger. There was another group that sat on the walls of the enclosure and mocked and jeered at the sight of those people. They ate apples and tore chicken with their canines, drank juices and wine and now and then threw a piece of glass of water at the crowd and laughed at the sudden crowd that appeared and fought against themselves for the meager piece. The more I was seeing the more I was unable to phrase my sentences, I was witnessing human nature with all its superficialities removed and all the while there was the crowd of djinns, animals, demons and humans in the seats watching this whole spectacle.
“There are still many more things to see, in fact you would be unable to keep your sanity till the end though I would be able to accompany you for two more sights and then you have to decide.” I just nodded and let the demon guide me.
We came across a group of men and women their faces beautiful and clothes extraordinary, their voices like that of a nightingale who were sitting in a circle with their knees flexed and hands covering their faces and heads, they were crying and asking for help but no one could listen to their pleas and even if someone did everyone here came to watch the show of their helplessness. There was a crowd of people surrounding them, all of them naked with their tummies the size of an elephant, and faces like those of a pig. They were calling those harmless beautiful people out with despicable names, cursing them, labeling them with sins they most likely didn't do, now and then a man would go to the crowd and pull along a woman and beat her up and then smash her on the ground and kick her in the stomach if anyone from the crouched ones would rise to help her, he would be shot by another naked man and then he would come and spit on his body with his foot on his face and called him a fool and vermin.
“Die, die, die you rat, you dare stand against us? You criminal!” the guy chanted and then joined his brethren in raping the chaste woman. No amount of the woman's tears and pleas and apologies would calm them and the whole horde of those ghastly naked bodies would make a mockery and example of the lady. When I tried to go the demon stopped me in my tracks passing me a contemptuous and glaring look signaling me to not mingle.
“This circus has been going on for ages, there's nothing you can do and if you do you risk your own being. There's no guarantee whether you will be able to come back alive.”
I didn't listen to the demon and rushed to the woman in the cage and grabbed her with my arms and pulled her out of the cage but she shoved me aside and then shut the door herself from inside and clutched at the entrance. I stood up and then went to the muscle man and took him by his hand asking him to help him with something that even hercules couldn't defeat and the guy tagged along. I asked him to get me the weapon the officers were using and pull the ones on the other side along with him to outside the pit. He jumped into the pit showing off his remarkable strength and threw me a gun which I took hold of, and shot at the officers one by one but they would respawn. The guy was on the other side helping people climb up and pulling still more on his back but the officers kept firing. At the end only two people made it across and the muscle guy got a bullet to the head and collapsed on the floor with many others crushed underneath his gigantic form. I happened to catch sight of his face as I rushed to the other side, and he was smiling with a glimmer in his eyes. The two men he saved rushed at the weapon thrower and got shot but it helped me to grab the gun from him and throw him inside the pit. I then threw a tank of petrol inside and shot it with the gun I had acquired. The whole pit caught fire and everyone started burning, black-acrid smoke started rising from it and the more officers died the more came up and the more cries rose from the pit but inevitably everyone burned to a crisp. I picked up another can and then I went to the people who were being mocked and jeered at, there was now another man shot and someone else's woman being taken for amusement. I took aim and pulled the trigger. Two men collapsed and fell on either side of the woman, the others noticing me ran towards me, their bellies swinging in the air and their mouths open gasping for air, I ran towards the enclosure and they followed me till there. Then I kicked a man who had the most food on his plate into the enclosure and this alerted the others. I needed to think of something to lose all of them but I was sure I won't be able to get the whole lot of them in one fell swoop. So I just kept running and throwing people off the wall of the enclosure. The people inside rushed upon them for the food and for the mockery they did of them. The ones with large bellies came running but didn't notice the enclosure and a few fell, the later ones stopped noticing something was amiss but the ones behind them shoved ahead, crashing amongst them unable to stop them from moving their large bellies took them to the enclosure. I ran to the fire circle then and there were new people inside it. I told them that I would be happy if they helped me amuse and take care of some people. They were not listening at first but then I put my head on the ground and asked them to help me. This trick worked, they were people pleasers after all. They can't say no when someone comes up and bows before them, flattering their pride and ego. The people behind me were closing in fast and so I grabbed onto one of the dancing sticks with which the joker party pulled me inside the ring. As soon as I was inside I felt the burning sensation all around me, the air became dry and unable to breath in, sweat poured out from my head and temples and drenched my shirt but I needed to maintain my ground. I kept waiting for the right moment and just as the crowd entered the circle, the people pleasers threw themselves up on the fat people, blocking their way, grabbing on to their necks and heads, still others grabbing their legs. I opened the tank and threw it on the ground and the people in front and everything went ablaze. My clothes caught fire too which I had to throw before the fire spread to my tissues and made me unable to do anything. I ran stark naked wearing just a vest and underwear. I ran without thinking anything, without looking behind, without anything to protect myself with, drenched in sweat, face covered with soot, and numerous light burns on my arms and feet. I ran till I reached the people who I wanted to save but there were no people. Everyone was already dead, the men had bullets to their heads, their eyes wide open while the women were all lying on the ground covered in blood, some with their bellies cut open, others with their throats cut. The demon stood there smoking a cigarette and then threw it upon the carcasses before me. All of them caught fire in an instant and burned before my very eyes.
“Why?... Why?... Why are they all dead?”
“Did you forget that everything respawns, happens again, just because you got rid of some pigs, new pigs won't appear? Humans keep breeding and more so when they lack any sense and rationale. The ones you wanted to save suffered at the others' hands till their very end. And then they suffered for the acts they did to them.”
“What's the meaning behind such irrationality and cruelty, such mockery of humans? It's stupid, it's illogical and unreasonable.”
“Still you people take pleasure in it. Your nature doesn't change, you might not do it like this but you go to any lengths when under cover or absolved from accountability. You do it all day on your phones.”
“You might be right, but there are good people too.”
“The ones you talk about are sitting with others like them in the audience watching this circus.”
“And what about me?”
“You my boy have conquered the hell inside you and are now able to fight against the hell that other people will craft for you. The first step to paradise begins with conquering the hell that exists inside you.”
“Why help me and be by my side?”
“Because you conquered me and didn't reject me. You acknowledged your own self and didn't claim a high moral ground or stood motionless in the wake of injustice. That's why I gave you more clarity.”
“Who are the ringleaders of such a horrific show?”
“I thought you wouldn't ask. They are the ones everyone is oblivious of but you realized that there must be someone who is at the top running and earning from this show. They are the ones who profit from this show, amassing their lockers with money that they would be unable to expend in their lifetimes and so it goes wasted or for keeping this entertainment running. Now go to where you come from but tell me one thing you learnt.”
“This world is like a carnival and we are all making fun of ourselves while oblivious to the fact that we humans make a mockery of others for our own pleasure. We are the ones that need to be put into check, a system enacted that curbs our tendencies, and protects the weak, that nurtures the pitiful and poor and fights against the pigs.”
“Very good. I certify that you are a donkey who will forever be laughed at by the audience of this circus while you present the battle of your life. Take this kid as a reward for your courage and valor. You may not be able to save everyone but you were able to provide me with time that I was able to save this one life.”
I took the child in my arms and hugged him close, tears came up in streams from my eyes and I was unable to hold back. By the time I had stopped crying I was sitting in a meadow, with a lush green forest stretched behind me and wildflowers all around. There was a certain calm and cold in the wind and I concluded that it was about time spring came up in the world. What I needed to do though was to carry the child and start living taking care of it.
You can't live a satisfied life when you either live it to please yourself or please others. The secret to a calm and satisfied life is to live for the sake of this whole world and to give to it.